Posted by: findinggodspeace | September 29, 2009


In church we have been talking about Christ is the only way which He is the only way but I am sure not living like it is.  I am just living life as it is coming to me.  I am scared to death about how we are going to pay for things like college expenses and bills just on unemployment.  Hubby decided to go back to school which I think is the right thing to do to further himself to get a better paying job but it just scares me to not where money is going to come from to be able to pay for stuff.  God will provide, I do know that but I would love to know how right now and give some peace about it.  I don’t have peace about it all.  My stomach is knots all the time worrying about it all.  My mood has suffered from all of this worrying and sure my family has as well.

The scared to the death is just a part of everything that is going on.  I feel like everything is just crashing on top of me and my chest just hurts to breath due to it.  I am tired of the way people are treating me and just can’t handle that either.

Then I have a daugther that I so love and she can be so sweet but yet get into so much trouble.  Right now she is doing okay but she doesn’t like Sunday School, she is acting up there.  In school we found she is way further behind then they thought she was.  Now I am regretting that we put her back into public school last year, let her get so behind.  More so I let her get so behind, it is my fault for not trying harder with her.  I am very frustrating in all this and hoping we can help her now and get her caught up.  She is 3rd grader but is doing things as a 1st grader.

I have a son that is a lot like his older sister where he is just trouble but has sweetest heart.  He trys to be nice but he just doesn’t know how to be nice.  I am so tired of being the referee with him to his younger brother.  He is 3 and younger brother is 18 months.  He hasn’t figured out how to defend himself yet so I have to step in.  I am frustrated with that.

Since hubby is going back to school, I have to pull a lot of the weight around here.  When I stop and think about it, I get so overwhelmed.  With the fighting between all the kids is just wearing me out and it has only been a week since he has started going back to school and he has least until June to finish.  I know I can do this but it just scares me.



  1. I don’t know If I said it already but …This blog rocks! I gotta say, that I read a lot of blogs on a daily basis and for the most part, people lack substance but, I just wanted to make a quick comment to say I’m glad I found your blog. Thanks, 🙂

    A definite great read..Jim Bean

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